my goal is to build a software tool that allows me to afford my day to
day life. when i reached that point and i can cover the expenses of an
entire month including rent, I will move out of my current apartment and
live as an digital nomad. before i can figure out how much i actually
need to get through an entire month i need to build a tool that tracks
my expenses and income. because travelling is rather expensive I want to
make it worth it by capturing and documenting my whole journey.
Capturing can be done best using a camera and a system to properly store
the footage. So before I can travel I need to build a system that makes
it as easily as possible to capture experiences on the go and store them
safely. When I am gonna start travelling I need to figure out where to
go - for that i am gonna make a website that solely focuses on my
targets and destination and it will include the objectives I am gonna
have in each place. Before I can start meeting strangers I need to be in
control of my emotions as well as my natural urges. For that I am gonna
set up a habit tracker website that tracks how much time i have spent
listening to music and watching youtube. at the end of the day I want to
have a streak of 30 days with no music and no media consumption. it
sounds a bit harsh but it should give me the capability to be fully in
control of myself and give me the strength to follow through on my plans
even though it might get bland and hard sometimes. I will make an excuse
for working out though cause it really helps in my current circumstance
(breathing patterns make me avoid going on heavier loads). before I can
start travelling i want to have something to share to people, something
that I can invest value into and I can get value out of - the best way
to do this is using a business. that is why I want to build a tool that
i can share with people and use my traveling as an marketing channel to
get the word out. for startup ideas i have 3 ideas: 1. an tool that
allows people to schedule their day using ai - essentially just an
wrapper application but it should be combined with an intuitive user
interface that makes it a pleasure to use. 2. an network application
that allows people to post and publish event - a social network -
probably really hard to implement and expense but it would have the
advantage of being easily marketable while travelling 3. ... i still
need to figure out slot 3 - i got so many ideas I can't decide - hence
why we come to the next requirement: an idea database: I want to build
an internal tool for me that makes it possible to record and analyse
concepts/ideas on the go. right now i am still in a job but I am gonna
quit soon in order to make all of this reality. i want to travel the
world and one day eventually find a partner to build a meaningful
company with - something that truly has an impact on the world.
Something that is actually worth working for - that is honestly what
this whole journey is about - finding the best place to work on
something valuable getting the most leverage per minute spent on it. I
also need to improve my speaking skills hence why I want to start a
youtube channel documenting the coding projects I am working on. Let's
hit them requirements and make it happen in 2026.
library
went to a library today evaluating if it is a good place to work from.
the downsides are the limited screen real estate you get from working
with a laptop the upsides involve mostly the atmosphere and the fact
that there are not many distractions. I am gonna try it out and come
back with some feedback after a few sessions judging the productivity
based on todos completed.
time
I want to sit down and have no other intention than getting my thought
converted. I don't want anything in between. Just the keyboard, the
screen and the concept being transformed into reality. There is so much
noise in my head that prevents me from getting into this state. So many
ideas about an bright future that mostly can only come true if enough
dedication is put into the now. But instead this foundation is getting
built using sand instead of bricks. Today I just wanted to state that in
order to achieve the unrealistic goals, one needs to be capable of
cutting down on everything in those times he wants to work on achieving
them.
happiness
Today I felt different. I felt so at ease with myself. Primarily
probably cause some things finally resolved at work but also because I
feel more likely to understand what I am supposed to do in the following
years of my life. I am at much more ease with the fact that I am alone
to such a high degree. I wouldn't even consider it loneliness but rather
declare it as an side effect of going for my own intentions. If someone
wants to join me great, if not I am not gonna stop doing what I believe
in. This almost feels like an essential piece to a liberal lifestyle -
something I think applies very well to me. I want to do the thing that I
feel like is essential to life which is working on something that is
valuable for others which is giving me food and shelter - everything
else is an addition to life and should be perceived as a gift. This way
of thinking gives my mind a lot of room to breathe. Some days I am even
thinking about scenarios of being alone - in the sense of an
relationship with an opposite gender - my entire life and how that would
look like or make me feel like. Maybe I can even contribute more to
society that way by focusing on a broader group of people instead of a
personal family. Regardless, today I just wanted to persist my spike in
happiness - maybe one day I can give you an guide on how to achieve this
state more often and with greater ease. Have a wonderful rest of your
day.
Plan for 2026
Your setup is not supposed to be eating more time than it saves.
Projects are supposed to deliver value to someone. That is their primary
intent and you should make sure to invest time into something that at
least tries to solve an issue for someone. My goal for this year is to
focus on that and avoid everything else as much as possible. If there is
something that might consume a lot of time, make sure to not pay for it
with all your time but instead pay it off with installments. I hate that
sometimes I was like: Let's just finish this one more thing and only
then I can focus on the next thing. But if that thing isn't even majorly
conributing to anything but just exists for some kind of personal need
then it is just a waste of time. Time that I could have invested into
something that actually matters.
Portfolio
I don't know why but it is an torture building a portfolio website for
me right now. I am doing it just so I can apply for tech jobs again and
just feel the security of having options. I would much rather invest my
time building something that I feel like truly can improve someone's
life. Simply beause of that I am even trying to make it as
abstract/modular as possible so others can also use my portfolio
website. I have built it in a way that makes it only require 2 json
files and a profile picture. Essentially it is rather a minimalistic
chat bot interface that the user is interacting with but I like it cause
it gets the point across - that's exactly how I like things to be:
Simple to understand and easy to use. I am gonna finish it now and
tomorrow I will kick start the day with a new idea. Stay tuned.
Distractions
TLDR: Take real breaks if you struggle finding purpose.
I can't sleep. It is 2 am and I just couldn't stop watching shortform
content on my phone. It has been quite some time since the last time I
used Instagram but now it got to me once again. It feels like as if my
dopamine always finds its way of satisfaction. Last week it was music,
now it is Social Media ... and almost always it is Youtube. It feels
like an relief even though it isn't. It feels like taking a break even
though you will come back exhausted. I just wish I could feel the ease
that I find in watching/consuming in creating sometimes. We all do
probably. But that's also a reason why it makes hard things so
desireable and valuable. The threshold to creation doesn't have to be
that high though, you just need to manage your time better. When you
lack in purpose because you went down on creation too hard you need to
refocus. Remember initial intentions, taking a moment too question if it
is even the right thing you are doing and if the version of you 50mins
ago would do it the same way. That is supposed to give you the feeling
of being on top of things, of being in charge of the decision making
process. I am gonna try to do nothing else but the things that I have
written down somewhere once. Easier said then done but I think active
breaks will make it more realistic. So... keep on being in love with
your craft but don't forget to take breaks. It is not a sprint but an
endurance game.
Built another CV.
TLDR: Go all in on one thing and then introduce things back in.
The past 4 to 5 days I have been doing nothing else other than sitting
in a room, building Websites from scratch. I keep on getting lost in
certain tasks and spend hours just tackling the things I encounter. What
a weird but natural way of trying to approach a goal. I am still
wondering if it would be a vital idea for gaining competitive advantages
in business cause I feel like big companies leak behind due to
management expenses - at least that is what I am telling myself when I
absolutely neglect any form of task management. The thing is, I like
breaking up a bigger challenge in pieces and then slowly progress while
doing so, collecting positive emotions while checking off tasks giving
off the feeling of moving towards something. But when you are one person
it is not really mandatory to do that, all you need to know is a rough
estimate of where you are and some kind of guidance to push you in the
right direction. Most of the times when I was setting up project boards,
at the end of the day it almost always felt like just procrastinating
and I would have learned more with a failed attempt at the same expense
in time. Alright I really gotta get some rest now cause it is 2:15AM and
I have been up until 3:30 the past 3 or 4 nights. What I wanted to have
said now, is that I just feel like you gotta invest everything towards
getting a result, a result is so vitally important I think. Just move
fast and get results. Get into the position of getting to make a
decision. I want to make decisions based off results and for that I
gotta iterate. Iterate faster! Alright, bye.
Just got hit.
TLDR: I am at shifting point in my life rn. a big one.
Today it happened. I received something kind of similar to an ultimatum.
I was told that I need to improve otherwise I will face major
consequences. Something I feel like I don't deserve. I don't deserve to
be in the same situation having to do the same fucked up work that I
already know I hate doing. I got one month time to decide wether I am
gonna stay at the company I am right now or I will be fired in case I
don't improve my means of quality. I don't fear leaving the company, I
fear being deserted. Having nothing to rely upon. I know that I am not
gonna continue on working at that company it is just a matter of time
when I am going to leave. Just a matter of time, so why not leave right
now and have 1 month of full work loaded up. The only question I got
left is what is gonna happen to me ... am I gonna find another job (I
don't want a job). I am gonna find a new job if I want, don't fool
yourself. The only thing I want is some security, making the leave look
smooth, like as if I was leaving because I found better opportunities or
whatever... The better opportunities aren't just there yet, the thing
that I am betting on is myself. I am betting on the fact that I am
capable of building something that will financially aid me, as of right
now I luckily got quite a buffer built up I could work with, people
around are telling me that I shouldn't do it, I shouldn't quit my job,
because of safety or whatever... But those same people are still broke
doing work that I would never want to do so why on earth would I accept
their suggestions... If you want to make it you have to hit hard and
change things no matter what. I am gonna work my ass to death this
weekend, pushing out 3 projects and a well refined CV. Then I am gonna
cancel my company, get homeless dimes and invest 100% of my time into
building something. COLD TURKEY. I might not make any money for some
time but I damn for sure know that I am crafting something that
represents my true self. You didn't do it for the past 12 months but
that absolutely doesn't mean you can't do it right now.
How to get things done?
TLDR: Build up a momentum and prolong it.
Pomodoro is something that doesn't really make sense, especially in
Software - you chop your flow by predefined, fixed time slots. Once you
finally get into the mode of "just doing", you shouldn't just stop...
you should let it breathe and have as much impact as possible. Nothing
feels better than having something completed and repetitive breaks are
just a delay to this feeling. In a truly productive workflow, there is
no time for breaks cause these are just enemies to the pure feeling of
completeness. In a team context it doesn't even have to necessary be the
solution but can also be an answer, like an deligation to someone else.
The feeling of ticking things off without a break, without a stop,
without a time delay can get you addicted because of a faster response
loop. When you think of the normal things people get addicted to, the
same thing can be stated - people do it because of an instant feedback
of dopamine. Obviously there are tasks that take more time and effort
and thinking to get completed and that is the reason why it doesn't feel
as addicting most of the time. One sits down tries to get the dopamine
hit but ends up getting lost in a never ending hole of questions -
dopamine is delayed and people become less hooked by the idea of
completing the next thing.
How to productively document your life progressing?
TLDR: Journalling only for yourself is a waste of time, introduce
emphasis on quality by exposing it to potential blame from others.
Continuing on the topic of why this blog exists I want to talk about
journaling. A process that should feel effortless and you do in a
somewhat repetitive manner. When doing daily it almost feels like a
chore though and will probably make you end up in writing things noone
including you is gonna care about in the future. Besides the emotional
attachment you build up with capturing your memories it is also supposed
to make you more aware of what is going on in your life and allowing you
steer your life in the right direction that truly reassembles you and
your honest thoughts. Keeping certain things only to yourself can cap
your range of thoughts though and will also put less emphasise on
quality cause at the end of the day you are the only one who is gonna
see the content anyways. Writing things with the thought of a other
person potentially judging you based on your output is a way of enabling
your brain to put out more quality naturally. That is the reason why I
want to ditch the idea of an private journal and pursue sharing my
thoughts on the internet.
Purpose of this blog
TLDR: Hard things are not always supposed to be.
Going after day-to-day life can be difficult. Rooting causes are issues
in skill and timing but most importantly lack in motivation, drive and
purpose. The latter has the power to make you tolerate some friction
though, cause you are on the way to a better future... right?. Building
a business requires time and dedication for a return in fulfillment and
money. Code requires strategy and focus in order to be usable and
reliable. Doing a workout requires effort and sweat for a yield in
strength and health. We often forget though that the equation only
really makes sense when the amount of sacrifice is smaller than the
actual return. Otherwise life will feel harder for no particular reason,
interest will fade and you will end up with a few hard lessons and
probably burnout. Some folks though preach pushing through - they cope
with almost religiously believing in things working out eventually.
Don't get me wrong, positive outcomes are supposed to be accompanied by
some effort otherwise you will most likely end up with the other end of
the spectrum: chronic unsatisfaction. Speaking from a more hands on and
realistic point of view though, there is an abundance in things that
require more time and effort than they should, especially in software
and bureaucracy. Processes that take valuable human time and convert it
into lack in motivation, drive and purpose. Talking about such issues
and attempts on solving them is what I want to talk about.